


Doctor Loo

by orphan_account



Series: The Saga of the Doctor and his Bladder [7]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-11-01 05:40:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17861384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A collection of short stories. Title explains the plot. Enjoy!





	1. The Airplane

The Doctor had been staring at the seatbelt sign for the last two minutes. The plane had yet to take off. Donna rolled her eyes at the Doctor.

"See, this is why I told you to go before the plane."

The Doctor stopped staring and pretended nothing was wrong.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, stop pretending. I've seen you stare at the seat belt symbol for two whole minutes. It's not gonna turn off faster the more you stare at it." Donna replied.

"Well, my bladder only announces itself every 3 days. When I said I didn't need to go, I really thought it'd last." the Doctor remarked in slight complaint.

"And that's why 'needing to go' shouldn't be the only reason to go to the loo. You can't predict a bladder that wizard!" Donna argued.

The Doctor nodded in agreement. He really shouldn't be so stupid about it. In 900 years of traveling, he had yet to develop any kind of effective schedule.

A few minutes later, the sign turned off. The Doctor thanked Rassilon and went off to the loo.

He wasn't sure upon entering, why Donna hated airplane bathrooms, but he did make a note of the size. Including the size of the bowl.

He unzipped, got into position, focused his aim, and started urinating. He sighed in relief.

One thing the Doctor would come to hate about airplane bathrooms was lack of turbulence proofing. The plane started bumping wildly, sending the Doctor's stream splashing a bit on the seat and floor. The Doctor cursed in Gallifreyan and English. He finished, washed his hands and went to get some toilet paper to clean up the two small puddles of his urine that were now where they very much  **shouldn't be**. But there was no paper. Slightly panicked, he called Donna.

'Doctor? What's wrong?'

'Donna! Do you have any tissues in your bag?' he asked nervously

'Yeah,'

'Could you bring me a couple? It's an emergency!'

'Sure' Donna replied.

Slightly confused, Donna went towards the bathroom and handed the tissues to the Doctor. He cleaned up and got back into his seat.

"So, you're gonna tell me what happened or what?" Donna asked, wanting answers.

"Turbulence. Caused a slight... Spill." he explained.

"You missed the bowl?" Donna said, adjusting his words.

The Doctor nodded. "Seat down?" Donna guessed. He nodded again.

"Sorry, should've told you, you need the seat up, 'cause of the turbulence," Donna remarked apologetically.

"Well I'll definitely have to keep that in mind if we're gonna go on a plane again.." the Doctor replied, blushing with embarrassment.

Donna stroked the Doctor's back and smiled, then helpfully changed the subject.


	2. The Bus

The Doctor wriggled in his seat on the bus. Then he crossed his legs. Donna noticed, and asked, "Do you need the loo?"

"A bit", he answered.

"Well, we'll be at my mum's place soon, then you can go" she assured him. He nodded and shifted his focus to the window to gain some patience.

A few minutes later, the bus stopped, but not at a bus stop.

"Why have we stopped?" the Doctor asked, looking ahead of the bus. There was a gridlock of cars in front of them. The bus driver announced what was obvious; they were stuck in traffic.

Both Donna and the Doctor committed to staying optimistic, despite the Doctor now wriggling with crossed legs.

The bus eventually started moving again. A couple stops later, Donna looked over at the Doctor. He was openly grasping his crotch, both legs slammed shut, and shaking with need.

"Just hang in there, alright? Just about 5 more stops left." Donna tried to reassure him.

"I don't think I can, Donna. This is really pushing the limit. Don't think I can wait much longer," the Doctor replied, now completely panicked.

Knowing what would happen if they stayed on the bus, Donna lead the Doctor of the bus at a stop she knew had a street with shops.

They both looked around for a shop that was likely to have a public bathroom. The Doctor spotted a Starbucks and ran in. As is true most places, the Doctor was fortunately told the restroom was free to use. Donna saw the Doctor running happily to the bathroom, through the window.

It was a single-person bathroom. The Doctor smiled as he stood in front of the toilet, unzipped, and started urinating, to the Doctor's great relief.

 _I really need to start remembering to wee_ _before_   _going on public transport,_ the Doctor thought to himself.

He finished and returned to Donna, smiling brightly and feeling much better. They had a nice 20-minute walk to Sylvia's house. The End.


	3. The Queen

The Doctor wriggled on the sofa next to Donna. They were waiting to see the man in charge of Buckingham Palace security.

"You could ask that bloke over there where the loo is," Donna suggested, obviously knowing what he was doing.

"Uh-uh, no way!" the Doctor said, determinedly refusing the suggestion.

"Oi, come on, everyone asks. It's a perfectly normal thing to ask for," Donna countered, insisting.

"It's also perfectly private need of mine. End of discussion." the Doctor said stubbornly, and that was the end of the discussion.

 

 

A few minutes and a crossing of legs later, a woman came into the empty waiting room. Specifically, the Queen of England. She took one look at the Doctor, and informed him, "the toilets are down that hallway, third door on the right. I suggest you go quickly before you get an infection." Elizabeth the Second advised him, pointing towards a corridor to the left of the man sitting at the welcome desk.

"Right, yes. Thank you, your Majesty," the Doctor said, blushing slightly, smiling at her like if she were an old friend, which she was. He bowed respectfully at the Holy Monarch, then walked to the loo.

"Seat up, Doctor" Elizabeth II reminded him.

"Yes, your Majesty," he replied obediently from the hallway.

"Seat down.. It's as if he forgot the 2 zeroes of his age," the Queen said to Donna, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah!" Donna replied, chuckling, not at all intimidated by the Holy Monarch standing in front of her.

They then had a nice chat about the Starship Titanic, to which Donna remarked "I thought that was a hoax!", with the Doctor joining in with his side of the story upon his return. The End.


	4. The Flamingo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, I'm running out of ideas. Please leave suggestions in the comments if you have any. Thank you, appreciate it! : )

The Doctor finished setting the TARDIS' destination to a world with the closest climate to "no weather", as Donna had suggested. Taking a single step backwards, he was hit by a signal from his bladder, telling him he needed to pee RIGHT NOW! With that, he ran down a corridor to use whatever bathroom he ran into first. He tried to open the door but found it was locked. Not very keen on running further down to the next one, especially with the chance of Donna walking out any minute, he knocked on the door eagerly.

"Donna, you almost done?" he asked through the door.

"In a bit, I'm going nr 2, sorry!" she replied.

The Doctor was at this time bouncing his knees, wriggling slightly.

"Well, just hurry up, will you?", the Doctor muttered quietly, sighing

"Can't hurry my stomach.." Donna reminded him. The Doctor said nothing, crossing his legs.

10 seconds later, The Doctor started squirming wildly with crossed legs. As it did nothing he resigned to a classic human invention, the pee-pee dance, then hopping on one foot with one leg pulled up, pressing to hold on. Very mild squirming continued. This was the sight Donna saw exiting the bathroom, making a note of the Doctor's pained, desperate expression probably triggered by her flushing the toilet.

"Blimey, you REALLY need the loo, huh?" Donna remarked at the Flamingo/Doctor.

"Yes I really do, now out my way;" the Doctor answered hurriedly, apologizing as he lightly shoved her out of his way, storming into the bathroom and locking the door. next thing Donna heard was the Doctor sighing in joy, muttering "Finally, Allons-y!" to himself, followed by loud pee noises. He emerged with a very clearly relieved smile on his face.

"Better?" Donna asked.

"So much better!" he replied.

"You really need to start listening to your bladder more.." Donna advised.

"Definitely!" the Doctor agreed. They both discussed the Doctor's flamingo pose on the walk back to the console room, with Donna, upon hearing it had been used before, deciding that she definitely needed to put a stop to this.. The End.


	5. Stuck in an Elevator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor faces his bathroom problem, by solving it IN FRONT OF Donna. Relief ensues.

The Doctor and Donna were in an elevator going down to the new UNIT HQ in the Gherkin. The Doctor started tapping his feet. Donna noticed and rolled her eyes. 

 

"Are you serious?" she remarked annoyed. 

 

"What?" the Doctor asked, crossing his legs. 

 

"I told you to  _go_ in the TARDIS before we left!" she reminded him.

 

"What does it matter? We're almost there, I have no issues with asking the Brig for toilet directions," he replied, smiling with confidence.

 

"The problem is, you need to make a habit of going to the loo in advance, you've had way too many close calls.." she instructed. The Doctor nodded in agreement. 

 

As the Doctor started hopping up and down, the elevator ground to a halt. 

 

"Did you do something?" Donna said, accusingly, having seen his hopping.

 

"It wasn't me. You're the one that always says I'm too  _skinny_ ," The Doctor stated, defensively.

 

"It just broke down. Hang on, I'll try to call someone" Donna said, tapping the emergency button. It did nothing. 

 

The Doctor frowned. They were stuck in an elevator, and his need for the toilet was getting quite a bit worse. He crossed his legs while continuing to squirm. 

  
"We'll be alright. Someone will notice," Donna assured him, upon seeing his wiggly constitution. 

 

10 minutes passed, and the Doctor had gone Flamingo, also clutching his crotch. "Donna? How much longer do you think we'll have to wait?" he asked nervously, almost panicky. 

 

"I don't know" she replied, with sympathy. The Doctor stared into space anxiously. 

 

5 more minutes went by, and the Doctor was crouching on the floor, legs crossed at his feet, thighs pressed together between his still crotch-grabbing hand, wiggling desperately. "Donna. I can't hold it much longer," he said, panicked. 

 

2 minutes later, Donna asked bluntly, as a final measure, "How long until you wet yourself?". The Doctor blushed, but answered quickly, "Getting very close.." his voice very strained, clearly in pain. 

 

"Alright, you're hurting yourself, just go in the corner," she suggested. the Doctor, almost unable to speak, mouthed ' _WHAT?!!'_ , absolutely refusing it. 

 

"You continue the way you are, you're going to either hurt your bladder or wet yourself. I don't want either and I know neither do you," Donna noted, reassuringly, trying to convince him. "It'll be alright. You have to go really badly, no one can judge for doing it in an emergency," she assured him. Feeling his bladder about to give up, he stood, still with his hand in his crotch. He instructed with his spare hand for Donna to stand with her back to him in an opposite corner. Turning around to face the corner, the Doctor unzipped, and let go. The Doctor peed loudly on the floor of the elevator, moaning slightly with relief. He closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of finally peeing. After zipping up and turning away from the puddle he created, he opened his eyes, smiling gratefully at Donna, who had turned around at hearing him finish. "Thank you," he stated gratefully. 

 

"You're welcome, Spaceman. Feel better?" she asked. He nodded, raising his eyebrows for emphasis. Upon getting the door open and seeing the puddle (the Doctor pointed it out), Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewarts only response was,

 

"Oh! You put a stopper to his toilet shyness. Jolly good, Donna," adding to the Doctor, "When you've gotta go, you've gotta go!". Both the Doctor and Donna chuckled and nodded in agreement, stepping out of the elevator.


End file.
